Some reporter or another discovered last week that consumer-device manufacturer Movabla’s immensely popular and seductively curved moPhone collects user-location data in an unencrypted text file titled “not_user_data_ignore_this.txt.”

The file contains a complete log of the user’s location, velocity and distance from the nearest Movabla Store. Users of the moPhone were outraged nearly to the point of not carrying the things every damn where. Congress demanded an explanation, and use of ALL-CAPS on Twitter rose 23 percent.

In response, Movabla CEO Paul Esthers released the following Q&A before descending back into his lair beneath Mount Shasta.